Friday, May 19, 2017

Trust Yourself

Last week, we talked about trust, but we didn't talk too much about whom. Most people don't realize this until it is too late, but the one that you must trust first and most is yourself.

Don't want to read? Watch me read it for you on YouTube. ^_^ This is part of the Leadership Series blog.

At least I didn't realize how important that is until now. Don't get me wrong, I always trusted myself but I also doubted myself at the same time, and so for some major decisions in my life, I simply delegated it to fate or others. And then I would realize that it wasn't quite the correct choice afterward, which naturally breeds regret and blame -- that topic deserves more time to properly understand, so we will talk more about that next week.

So to avoid regrets and blames, two negative things to have, you must always trust yourself and ensure that you make all decisions by yourself, but not necessarily solely by/for yourself but while considering other people as well -- just ensure that you ultimately always understand the consequences of your decisions and be the one that make the decision, so there is no regret and no one to blame.

After I started to push myself to learn and write about leadership, while I felt confident at times that I learned the material and I am abstracting and telling others the correct things about leadership, recently I felt a negative emotion, an uneasiness, that I didn't quite know how to place. Eventually, I concluded that it was a lack of trust in myself, confidence.

Recently, Kevin Scott published a personal story [linkedin] of how he dealt with confidence when he felt like an imposter in school, where he felt he didn't belong or having to struggle while he started to push himself in pursuit of knowledge. The story serendipitously confirmed what my uneasiness was. Here are a few quotes from that article that really resonated with me:
  1. "... the biggest reason that I felt like an imposter was that I was ambitious, and was always pushing myself really hard...and doing things at or beyond the limits of my experience."
  2. "I was constantly convinced that I was the only one struggling, which just made the struggle worse."
  3. "The only folks who don't struggle are those who don't challenge themselves enough, or those who give up too easily. So push yourself and embrace difficulty when it comes. Nothing worth doing is easy.
Initially, when I published my leadership articles on social media, I thought many people will like them, which would prove I was right and in turn give me confidence, but that didn't quite happen. If anything, it is the opposite of that, haha ^_^. So should I listen to the lack of attention as proving that I am wrong and I should stop, or should I ignore that and blissfully keep doing what I want? I didn't want to ignore others' feedback, or even lack of feedback (the only bad feedback according to David Henke). I have decided to keep listening and maybe revise how I write or vend the content, but at the same time and more importantly, to trust myself and be confident about what I am doing because I believe my ideas and I believe others may benefit from them...however few that is. :) 

When Larry Page said “In the technology industry, where revolutionary ideas drive the next big growth areas, you need to be a bit uncomfortable to stay relevant [linkedin],” I like to think that mentality applies to other industries or ideas as well.

For everything that you do or say, especially if you are pushing your limits or into new territories, while you might feel a bit uncomfortable or uneasy or like an imposter, you must always trust yourself and be confident. If you don't, others won't either -- it must start with you. By doing everything with confidence, you might be wrong, but at least you won't have any regrets and you did something that you believed in and that is better than doubting yourself and doing nothing.

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