Thursday, January 18, 2018


I haven't written for a while as I wasn't happy and so it didn't make sense to tell others to be happy or better if I wasn't. If the things that I learned or do didn't have the desired outcome, then it only means I was missing something or doing things completely wrong. One key concept has been in my mind for awhile but I haven't been able to come up with the right words, nor feel up to task to write about it, was the idea of being balanced. As the old saying goes, moderation is key, and I believe that is what I have been missing in many areas of my life.

Being balanced is actually harder than you think as it can be illusive. You may think that you are well balanced, but in reality, you might not. I think an easy way to figure out if your life -- emotions, what you do, etc -- is balanced is by asking someone else. For me, I used to have pretty good control of my emotions but that has gone out the window since I started dating a long time ago, and especially now being married with kids. All the hormones that are produced during the entire process tends to mess with a logical mind. Most of the times, I do realize my emotions but sometimes they do get the better of me. I am slowly separating them so that I can be more aware of them and better make decisions. That is not to say that I am ignoring them, but I am embracing them, as that's a part of being human, by being aware and then making decisions with them in mind without being affected by them in a negative way.

It's surprisingly how much we are controlled by our emotions and hormones. In a way, we don't really have free will as we think as our entire life is almost entirely dictated by our hormones that make us happy, sad, etc. At the same time, they are also what makes us unique and "human" rather than being a robot. If we strictly follow our emotions, we would end up making wrong choices often and eventually be in an emotional mess. If we ignore our emotions, we would make the best decisions but end up being a boring robot. So the best option is to have both. Balanced.

How we do keep our emotional and logical mind in balance? I think that starts with training your logical mind by using your brain in various ways, such as studying / learning, and then become more aware of your emotions by checking on them constantly. And finally, separate them out when making decisions with them in mind. It's easy to say but much harder to do, I would say. Also I don't have the best techniques for this as I am learning myself.

Emotions are pretty powerful as they are like tidal waves that washes over logic, but I believe they can be tamed by being aware, and slowly train them to be gentle / relaxing waves at a beach rather than let them turn into tsunamis. There were a few times in my life where emotions completely took over logic, and it wasn't pretty --  I am thankful that things turned out ok at the end without permanent damage.

Being balanced isn't just for emotions, it's for everything in life. Balanced work vs life. Balanced urges to watch TV vs doing something more productive. Balanced appetite / diet. Balanced outlook in life -- don't be too positive or negative. Balanced fitness. Balanced cleanliness -- some dirt/germs are good. Essentially, everything in life should be balanced, otherwise it would be obviously "unbalanced" and things would fall eventually.

This is part of the Essential Life Skills blog series.

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